I work part-time as a pizza delivery driver. I’m not going to say the name of the establishment cuz frankly, they’re not paying me for ad space, but it is a national chain. (Don’t be tricked by the google ads, those are chosen by adsense, not me).
Not a night goes by with less than 12 orders that piss us off in some form or another. It’s always either retards/drunks trying to order, illiterate crotch goblins trying to use the internet and failing miserably, jackasses who take way too long doing anything as simple as wiping their asses or douche bags who refuse to toss a real tip our way. Apparently there is a shitload of people out there who just don’t know proper pizza ordering etiquette. It’s time for some learning.
1) Know what you want BEFORE you call. Or at least give us some USEFUL information over the phone.
I understand. You started jonesing for pizza hardcore and reached for the phone before your brain caught up to your stomach. That’s cool. We don’t mind helping you out. That’s our job. That being said, don’t be an asshat. Instead of just asking flat-out what the specials are, think for a minute. How many pizzas do you need? What kind of crust do you like? It would save us a lot of time and trouble if you helped out a little. Practice with me. “I have 3 hungry kids, what kind of deals do you have on 2 large pizzas and some dessert?” | “I’m stoned/drunk out of my mind and I really need a vat of grease in my mouth. What’s the cheapest deal on the least amount of food you will deliver?”
Those are constructive and helpful. If you just ask what our specials are you’re going to get 3 or 4 specials we’re forced to regurgitate in your ear each week, but we have at least 30 coupon codes in the computer that we can use at will. Giving us an idea of what you need will aide in getting you a better deal and keeping us from doing something very wrong to your food. (Yes, awful “mistakes” happen from time to time. Don’t be a smacktard.)
2) If you ask for your delivery to be there at a specific time, BE THERE. If we say 20-30 minutes, that’s what we mean (or at least aim for).
Our store delivers to a Coast Guard base. They used to let us drive right up to the barracks to deliver. Not anymore. A competing pizza shop had a driver that was speeding on base. They pulled him over and found either a giant knife, handgun, Uzi or suitcase bomb depending on who tells the story. We are now only allowed to wait for the customers in the parking lot at security. The base is at the edge of our delivery area. It’s a 35 minute delivery if all goes well, which rarely happens. This is how a normal Coast Guard delivery goes:
Shit Scraper*: “I want a pizza delivered to the Coast Guard Base”
Me: “Ok, you know the policy right? The pizza will be there in 30 minutes, make sure you’re waiting at security for the driver. We will only wait for 15 minutes before they have to bring the order back to the store.”
Shit Scraper*: “Yeah, I know… here’s my cell phone number”
20 Minutes later:
Driver: “Hey, this is your delivery driver. I’m calling to let you know that I’m on my way there and will be at security in 4 minutes.”
Shit Scraper*: “Cool, thanks. I’ll be there.”
9 Minutes later:
Driver (Voice mail): “Hey, I’m leaving this message cuz you ordered a pizza. I’ve been sitting in the parking lot for 5 minutes. Just wanted to see what’s up and let you know I have to head back to the store in 10 minutes.”
At the 13 minute mark the Shit Scraper* shows up and tips a buck and some change. WTF!? I know it’s a stereotype to pass off young military men as inconsiderate douche bags, but stereotypes exist for a reason.
Moral of the story: You called us. Don’t be a cockstain.
*Shit Scraper: A derogatory term for low ranking Coast Guard recruits that scrape seagull shit off buoys. No, wait… It’s not derogatory. That is their ACTUAL job.
3) Make sure you have money.
We tell you how much your total comes to over the phone. We tell you how much time you have before you are expected to give us that same amount (Plus tip). I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve shown up at someone’s door only to hear “My buddy/wife/boyfriend/pet monkey just ran out to an ATM to get money for the pizza, he/she/it’ll be back in a second.”
YOU FAIL!
You had 40 minutes to make sure you had the $12.50 you needed for your pizza. Why the fuck would it take you 30 minutes to figure out you only had pocket lint? In the amount of time it took your friend/wife/boyfriend/monkey to get that $13 I could have taken 2 more deliveries and not wasted $3 in gas by idling in your driveway.
That being said, if you are paying with a credit card tell us. We have to run your number through the computer to charge it and print your receipt. I know we live in the technology age where everything is wireless and Jesus is magic, but if I come to your door and you hand me a credit card, I’ma look at you cockeyed and wait for you to realize your vehicle should be short, yellow and bus-like in stature. (Hey, that sounds like 80% of the Hummers I see driving around). “Oh, look, a credit card. For me? Totally cool, let me swipe that through my high-speed internet enabled bionic ass crack, shit out a receipt and have you sign it with my pencil dick. I would have opted for the bigger writing utensil, but it came as a bundle and the price was right.”
4) If you can’t afford a $3 tip, eat leftover Ramen.
Look… don’t take it personal (Unless, of course, you are one of the shit lovers that gives me a $20 bill for pizza that costs $19.65 and tells me to “Keep the change”). I know we charge a $1.50 delivery fee and as deceptive as that may be, IT IS NOT INCLUDED AS OR MEANT TO BE THE TIP. We make minimum wage, which means $5.85/hour. Don’t buy into the ads claiming “Want to make $10/15 per hour? Come drive for us!” That’s total bullshit and I would like to take an epic dump on the desk of the marketing monkey that came up with that festering sack of rat vomit.
Let’s do a little bit of math shall we?
Say my average delivery is 18 miles round trip. Gas here teeters around $2.80 per gallon. My car gets 26 miles to the gallon. That calculates to about 11 cents per mile that I spend in gas. Multiply $0.11 per mile by 18 miles and you get $1.98. The store hands me that $1.50 delivery fee as compensation for what I spend in gas. That means if you stiff me, I just SPENT 48 cents to bring you YOUR fucking food. And that doesn’t include the gas I waste waiting for you to answer your goddamn door as I am ringing the doorbell, knocking, and calling your fucking phone. I mean, it’s not like YOU called ME to bring you food. Wait, yes it is. You’re an asshole. If you’re going to give me less than $3, just eat some ice instead.
I’ve come up with a little chart to help you out on tipping your next delivery driver.
3 items or less = $3
4-8 items = $1 per item
More than 8 items = 15% of the total, after tax and delivery fee
When you order 15 pizzas and we charge you $185. A $3 tip is NOT ACCEPTABLE.
NOTE: Cherry Coke, menthol cigarettes and showing me your boobs are deemed acceptable forms of gratuity.
5) Don’t be retarded.
This is a true story. It happened earlier tonight (which is what started this whole post in the first place).:
Me: “Thank you for calling ****. This is Joey, how can I help you?”
Customer: “Yeah, what are your specials?”
Me: *Recites the list of specials hanging over our computer monitors*
Customer: “I don’t want nun of them. I’m ‘posed to git $9 off this order”
Me: “Do you have a coupon for $9 off?”
Customer: “Naw, the last time I ordered the driver said I was ‘posed to get $9 off my next order.”
At this point its pretty obvious that something is off, but I’m supposed to play along and ask what the problem was with the last order and offer to throw in a free pizza. And of course, people like this know that and try to play the game to get some free eats. I didn’t feel like playing that game, so I continued:
Me: “What was the driver’s name?” -(If we do something like that, we always give them our name and put a notation in the computer so next time they call a screen pops up and shows us any special notes on the customer. This bitch had a blank screen.)-
Customer: “I don’t know his name. He just told me that I was ‘posed to get $9 off my next order”
Me: “Well what was the problem with your order?” -(I took the bait)-
Customer: “Last time I called, they asked if I wanted to hear the specials and I didn’t want to so I said no”
Me: “Ok…” (waiting for the part where we fucked something up)
Customer: “Well I ordered some pizza and when the driver got here and told me how much it was, I axed why it was so ’spensive. He said it was cuz I paid full price and said next time to ask for the special and I can save $9.”
Me: “I already told you that special, did you want to go ahead and get that?”
Customer: “No, I want another $9 off this order cuz I was ‘posed to get it on my last order.”
Me: “So let me see if I have this straight. Last time you called we specifically asked if you would like to hear the specials?”
Customer: “Yeah”
Me: “And you said no?”
Customer: “Yeah”
Me: “Then when the driver got there you decided it was too much money and wanted to know why?”
Customer: “Yeah”
Me: “And the driver told you it was because you paid full price and if you had listened to the specials you could have used a coupon that would have saved you $9?”
Customer: “Yeah”
Me: “So, you want me to take another $9 off the special because you refused to hear the specials last time you called?”
Customer: “Yeah”
Me: “…….” “Really?”
Customer: “Yeah”
I swear an ulcer formed on the spot.
Look. I know food service is not a glamorous profession. There’s no glory in it. Most people assume that anyone slinging pizzas is either a low-life or some kid fresh out of high school still living with mommy and daddy just trying to make a few bucks to buy a new video game or a couple mp3s online. While the latter is true, it only makes up about 11% of the workforce. Kids like that never stay long, never do a decent job while they are there, and cover about 97% of the bad connotations associated with the job. Truth of the matter is that most of us that work at pizza places are there for supplemental income. A majority of the people I work with (myself included) are married with kids and were looking for a laid back night job to bring in some extra money. We’re decent people with rent/mortgages, bills to pay and mouths to feed. I’m not looking for sympathy or respect. I don’t expect so much as a thank you. Just stop being an asshole.
If you have any stories about food service nightmares or fucktard customers, please drop a comment and share with the rest of us.
Update: Someone liked my post enough to digg it. So I thought I’d try and help the process by throwing a digg button on here. Thanks.
yeah…. dont get me started on waiting tables
This is great. This is turning out to be a really great blog. I have had a lot of drama lately. I would write about it but Then I would be out of a roommate.
I completely agree with the last part. I cannot STAND people that treat me like I’m an idiot. I work in a hotel. A pretty respectable at that, so tell me why you think it’s imperative to spell BOB for me? Do I sound like I never finished kindergarten. Ugh.
I completely agree with you entirely. I work as a delivery driver as well, and gas here is 3.08 per gallon right now, and we have a two dollar delivery fee, of which only 1.15 goes to us. The part about the asshats that say keep the change when it’s only .15 or .33 need to die. it’s insulting and humiliating. lately i almost got into an accident delivering because it was slick outside and the man at the door (this is a very affluent neighborhood mind you) asks how i’m doing and i tell him what happened on my way over to which he asks for all of his change, to the penny, and i call him an asshole to his face and throw it at him. people think just because i ‘m 18 that i’m worthless and a piece of scum. also about your young military person comment, yes it is a stereotype, and most of us are simply because we feel that we’re better than those who choose not to serve. And if you think food service is an under appreciated job. The military is under paid and quite often disrespected in many ways daily.
2.80 a gallon? I pay 2.99 if I am lucky, I know how you feel though, except I worked in fast food so all my confrontations happened face to face, my manager used to have me take care of the stupid customers because I wasn’t afraid and I wouldn’t put up with bull****. For example: if there is something wrong with your order don’t eat all around the problem and then hand us a tiny piece of food expecting your money back.
It’s nice to see that an article I wrote stirring up enough sentiment for people to drop comments. And I didn’t mean to shit on the military as a whole (my dad was 23 years Air Force and my father-in-law is a Naval Chief), it’s just that the specific recruits I am talking about really do scrape seagull shit off buoys as their prime job responsibility. And they are total douche bags.
If you only get 26 miles to the gallon, maybe you should try delivering in a more economical car? I have a 14 year old Astra, rarely serviced, overheats all the time, and it gets 35 to the gallon in that state. And you can’t complain about leaving your car idling - turn it off and walk to the door.
As you for your credit card rant, yeah that could be annoying, but if you list ‘payment by credit card accepted’, and don’t ask on the phone if that’s how they’ll be paying, it’s no-ones fault except whoever answered the phone - blaming technology is no excuse, a lot of places (yeah, even delivery drivers) carry portable credit card machines - you don’t need “high-speed internet” to send around 30 digits and possibly 20 characters to tha merchant.
I’m not dissing your job in general, I’ve done exactly the same job, and I did it for two years. But you want to try doing it in this country - you might get £15 per shift plus £1 per delivery, and on top of that we’re now paying £1.05 (about $2.10) per LITRE (not gallon!)
The problem with tipping delivery boys is that it’s their job to deliver. If the cost of gas is not properly compensated you then you should consider another job. I mean you -choose- to be a delivery boy. Plus, when a company asks you to pay usually a minimum of thirteen dollars for some frozen bread and cheese, let alone if you’re all upitty and have the nerve to want $0.20 in toppings for $2.50 extra, it becomes real aggrivating. DOnt missunderstand me; I love the people who do the thankless, horrible food service jobs because I’ve been and likely will again be one of them. BUt there are better routs than this.
About the tip: I’ve worked at several places (retail, service, etc.) that would occasionally order pizza for the workers. I’m talking ten, twenty pizzas, and then give me the money to give to the driver along with a three or four dollar tip. I’ll admit I’m a wimp, but I always kicked in more out of my own money. What I should have done, of course, is tell them “if you want to cheap out on the tip that badly, YOU go talk to the driver!” I simply can’t believe people are so frigging cheap.
Right on dude. It’s unfortunate that this is the truth :S
Bob Dole has been used to delivery drivers taking a corporate-owned vehicle on deliveries. Bob Dole knows this doesn’t happen very often anymore, if at all. Bob Dole is sorry that he hasn’t tipped on all his deliveries. Bob Dole will pony up the three bucks, except to Papa John’s because they’re a three minute drive from Bob Dole’s house. They get two dollars from Bob Dole at the most. God damnit. Bob Dole.
Dude, I also work at a pizza place. I’m an in-store, making the pizzas and answering phones. One thing to add to your rant: speak clearly on the phone. It’s really annoying to answer the phone and not be able to understand the person. Also, tell us your first AND last names so when your husband/wife calls, we can be sure that it’s the right address.
you think that’s bad, try working at one of the worst possible combinations in the world… Walmart and McDonalds combined. yep thats right. the shitty little one in store that all the fatties go to and try to get cheeaaappp food.
I so feel ya - I delivered pizza’s for a few months while I was looking for another job & the crap that drivers (and waitresses) go through should render HIGH dollars, not minimum wage. Good luck with the job!
You’re deliverin’ pizzas and feel superior to a member of the USCG?
I’m a barista at a chain bookstore/coffee shop, and i have tons of do’s and don’ts relating to how to treat a barista.
Some choice annoyances:
Do not ask me to put cream and sugar in your coffee, we place it out there for your convienence. We are not mcdonalds.
Tipping with the four pennies you just got back from me is a total insult. I’d rather you didn’t if you care that little.
Do not rush my counter and order five drinks in the same breath… i probably remembered the first two or three, but after that… (i work alone most nights, so i make the drinks as they are ordered. odds are i will wander off to make your first drink while you tirade your next three… then i will ask you again for the drinks.)
Nice blog.
This was fucking classic. Well done, sir.
Ah the whining of people who don’t get as much in tips as the actual service/product costs. Seriously… nobody is obliged to give ANYONE a tip, that’s why it’s called a ‘tip’.
Ah but I forget about the USA and it’s tipping culture. So strange…
I used to do deliver at a pizza place. We didn’t get the ‘tards asking for money off, because we don’t give out any free food or anything like that unless the owner of the store ok’s it, which was never because he loved his money. We used to deliver to this hotel though, and the people who stay at hotels just don’t know how to tip. I frequently (80% of the time) got EXACT change. That means I drove 10 miles to drop off a pizza for them to stiff me like that. The place I worked at charged a 3.50 delivery fee, but we only saw 75 cents of that, and $1.00 if gas was over 3.50, which was only one time.
I stopped tipping after the pizza “delivery charge” was introduced. I used to deliver pizzas in my younger days, and I was just as vehement about people not giving me my proper due. At that point we made 50 cents per delivery, which was enough to keep the gas going…that 50 cents came from the company though not the person, there was no delivery charge. At that point about $1.00 was considered an average tip, and I always tipped twice that.
Now all of a sudden there’s a $2.00 delivery charge, a $1.50 check charge, and the price of the pizzas have gone through the roof. I know what kind of crap ingredients they use.
To top it all off, I’ve always had to deal with douchebag drivers that don’t take the time to even come into my apartment complex, they want me to hike a mile and a half out to the pedestrian gate on the other side of the complex because they can’t figure out where my apartment is, and they’re too lazy to come in through a gate that never even closes…and don’t get me started on the apartment complex. They have to drive by the open gate, just to get to the pedestrian gate.
I don’t live in a bad neighborhood, they just don’t want to waste their time driving through and hiking back themselves.
Then just to rub salt in the wound, my pizza is colder than a well digger’s ass and for some reason half of it is covered in fruit that I never asked for.
They’re lucky they get 12 cents change left over from my $25 order.
You’re lucky though, you don’t have to deal with me very often anymore. Now I spend the majority of my hard earned cash picking up a pizza from a popular Take’N'Bake chain that puts far more toppings on at less than half the price you do. I toss into the oven on it’s own tray, and 15 minutes later I have a hot and delicious pizza.
Why do you leave your car idleing and then have a go at the customers for making you leave it on and costing you money? Thats really stupid and it could get nicked? Is the ignition broken or something or can you just not be arsed with turning a key and taking it out? Also if your only loosing 50c on petrol why do you want a $3 tip? I never get the American obsession with tips it ridiculous. Tips are there for exceptional service or early food, not just because you turn up with a cold pizza and often a grumpy attitude. I appreciate your trying to earn extra money but you should know the pay before you take the job and if your dissatisfied, just get a different one.
Jesus christ 26 miles to the gallon? My bike does 80 to the gallon on the tardy side. Get a new motor.
I have seen many unsavory practices done to these type of bastards you speak of.
1) “The Pepperoni Stomp” This is basically pepperonae ground into the floor of asshole/known non-tipping customer. For the ultra bastard customer, it was done on the bathroom floor
2) The Plastic Salad Fork pube combthrough: Name says it all
3) I, myself never did the above, but I would keep a running list of “bastards” complete with telephone numbers. These I would randomly call on my way home from a closing shift at 2:30 in the morning via cellphone on private. Very Petty indeed, but oh so satisfying.
4) You are a complete dumbshit to piss off underpaid teenagers on drugs who handle your food. You reap what you sew.
Dude, first off, you rock.
Second off, I’m a teen, been working fast food for a year, and I’m better than 80% of the adults working there. The other 19% being managers, and 1% being the ones that can keep up with me. But, I agree, there are tons of jackass teenagers, and I am shamed by their terrible reputation.
A drive through is about the same thing as your delivery. Saying that as in it sucks terrible balls, and people are assholes.
Ten points my man, ten points.
–Eli
Alright. So at the pizza restaurant I work at, we put the pepperonis under the cheese. Well, one retard picked up their large pepperoni pizza and took it home…Well about 20min. later he calls back ans says, “I, I didn’t get any pepperoni on my pizza, I want a new one!” So my manager said, “Bring it back and we’ll replace it.” This was also so we could check and see if we really forgot the pepperoni. When he came in, we looked at the half eaten pizza. So, we proceeded to ask him, “Sir, did you look under the cheese?” Sure as shit, there the pepperoni were. So, he walked out with a cold half eaten pizza w/pepperoni.
I have several issues to address. First, let me start by telling you that I am a manager of a pizza place and I am a tipper. You people who are not from this country need to not post here if you can’t understand our culture. to the people who were getting on this guy about leaving his car running…if you knew anything about cars you would know that turning the engine on and off uses more gas than the short idle, I am most positive that 10 minutes was an exaggeration but who knows. Also, if you had 20 stops per night you would be quickly replacing your starter. This noone has mentioned is not included in the delivery charge. neither are tires, oil changes or any other car maintenance.
so there is where his $3 is coming from. As a manager, I have heard some crazy things but his example takes the cake. Please know what you want. Please if you dont know, call and ask for the specials and dont waste our time by hem-hawing around on the phone. Hang up and discuss your strategy and call back. You will seem way more intelligent that way. If you are stoned you just might as well tell us to send you a pepperoni pizza cause that is all you order anyway. As a matter of fact you are probably asleep and dont remember what you ordered anyway. Oh and the military, our store delivers to a coast guard base and a navy base. These are the biggest bunch of retards I have ever talked to. Usually drunk and acting badly. Everything he said is true here too. So all you little brats in the military that couldnt get a job anywhere else that HAD to join the military piss off. Sorry to all the others that needed to join and are getting in harms way to pay for college. I really dont think you are the same guys and gals I’m talking about. Half my crew is military and you piss them off too. NOTE TO ORIGINAL POSTER. Hire you some decent military guys and gals. That way when the orderers are assholes these employees can report them to their officers and its sooooooooooo worth it. Again to the disrespectful military ur in the military cause you are an asshole and you had no job nor a place to stay so it sounded good at the time.
Oh my weirdest, dumbest customer….I had a lady who was in one of these religions where she couldnt eat pork. she ordered alot of vegetables and pepperoni and stressed no pork. She had been ordering like this for a while and I finally challenged her and told her that pepperoni was pork. She argued with me so I showed up at her house with a pizza with and a pizza without…and the original pepperoni box that showed ingredients. What a dumb bitch.
Jeanne is correct. If your car is fuel injected it takes the same amount of gas to turn your engine over as it does to leave your car idling for 15 minutes. I leave my car on idle to conserve gas and because I am never more than 10 feet away from it. So I’m not that worried about it getting “nicked” (stolen for us Americans).
UK culture and American culture are definitely different when it comes to tipping. Comparing the restaurant/food culture of both countries would be like trying to compare health care systems. It just can’t be done in a way that makes sense to both parties.
I appreciate punters from the UK dropping in and checking out my post, but really there is such a cultural rift in this area it’s rather pointless to try and make an argument.
There’s the big difference between the US tipping culture and the one where I live… Here its more as if the service was good… Which unfortunately it isn’t… However there are no precise amounts to tip, just whatever you feel the person deserves… Crap service and attitude means bad tip.
First of all, great blog. Next, all you ignorant people who think it is some sort of extra fucking duty to tip the delivery driver… When you go to a resturant, do you tip the waitress? She brings your food to your table, keeps your drinks filled, you pay an OUTRAGEOUS amount of money for food you could have bought at the grocery store and cooked yourself for 1/10 of the price. But no you like the convenience of someone doing all the work for your lazy ass. And when you pay your bill, most of you tip your waitress. Now when your ignorant asses order a pizza (because you are too fucking lazy to go get your own shit)you have the audacity to think that it is wrong to pay someone for battling the elements, the traffic, and paying an outrageous amount of gas to bring your food right to your damn doorstep. I never have worked in the food service industry, but my best friend has been a pizza delivery driver for a few years now. The stories she gives me about the bullshit tips she gets are horrendous. I tip between 4 and 7 dollars every time, and my favorite pizza shop is 3 blocks down the road. I pay for the convenience, and also try to make up for the 3 other idiots before me who didn’t tip shit. And as a result, my food is always cooked to perfection, arrives hot, and always is chock full of toppings and sometimes a little extra thrown in. I am a good customer, and those delivery drivers work hard to cater to my laziness. And to all you ignorant non tipping foreigners, I hope your food has been disgustingly manipulated before it arrives at your door step. Stop being a cheap bastard and tip the delivery driver! If you are too cheap to ( I think 3 dollars is a bare minimum as gas is over 3 dollars a gallon) then don’t fucking order it. Cook your own damn food.
I have (thankfully) never worked in food services. I have worked in retail before, and currently in hospitality in a flat-out tourist state. Sometimes, people just don’t want to bother using that thing we commonly like to refer to as a “brain”.
As for tipping, people have to realize that jobs where the company and managers allow their employees to take a tip, it is because they acknowledge that for those of their employees that don’t live off mommy and daddy and have bills, tuition, etc. to pay, their measly minimum wage just isn’t going to cut it. As a result, these people who (sometimes, not always) try to serve you with as little attitude after a long day as possible are depending on that tip to get them that much farther in gas money, to get lunch during their break later in the week or (as happens with my extra petty change) for toll money when school/works a bit of a drive away.
A friend of mine and I used to go to a Steak n’ Shake near our school ALL THE TIME. They loved us, even though we were always loud and usually came in some time after midnight (they were 24-hr). And that was because even when we were being annoyingly undecisive, we tried to be polite and not super picky, apologized if we thought we were being TOO annoying, and if there was a time when we couldn’t tip them at least the 10% or what we felt they deserved, we made sure the next time we came we aimed for the same waiter/ress as the time before and made up for it. They treated us like GOLD! One of those waitresses ended up in class with us and she admitted she used her tip money to buy books. Think about that next time you need to tip someone.
Michi
Goddamit. I am so tired of Euro-styled customers who feign ignorance of how things really are for the vast uninsured populace of low-wage America while happily pissing on the “gratuity” column of the check as it suits them.
In your countries there are state-run health systems. If you get bad service, certainly consider the size of tip but realize that human beings depend on this income and if they slip and fall at work: they’re fucked.
Think about that when you walk out of a free hospital bed after a long illness with no bill.
Hey I am not in any food service But I always tip the delivery guy/waitress at least 20%. I realize the guys/Girls delivering pizzas are driving around in shitty weather to knock on strange peoples doors to make a living. Not because they have some weird fetish. Notice it’s people that have to work for their money who tip the best. Most rich snobs are the worst tippers.
I don’t understand people who treat food delivery drivers like shit. It doesn’t make any sense to me. My husband and I order a lot of take out (a lot, too much, we’re lazy fucks) and we always tip exceptionally well. As a result we get our food in less than 15 minutes in most cases and it’s hot and the delivery folks are friendly as hell (unless they’re new and don’t realize how well we tip). It’s common courtesy, dammit. Tip your delivery drivers, asshats! Otherwise you deserve spit topping on your pizza.
MAtt#8 you need a lesson.
Tips are for Being GRACIOUS that someone was nice enough to provide a service that you requested. A pizza delivery driver is risking his life to deliver that 13$ pizza and If you dont think you should tip more than pocket change, you should, drop your cock and put on your socks and get your own ass in the car and pick it up yourself you greedy fuckin retard shit scraper! A service like delivery deserves a tip!
Dont give me that “IT’s his job and he chose it” shit. Do you tip the bartender a 1$ for bending over into the cooler to hand you a beer? Do you tip the waitress when she brings your food? If not, stay home and carry on…
My god! STFU! Find another job. If you are not payed enought, that will be the correct course of action. Or demand a rise in payment.
Being a retard is not a excuse, and no one owes you a tip. Persuade your boss to rise the price for your delivery to suit your costs.
Mandatory tipping, as in the US, is stupid. Tips should be given only if the service is good, not as a matter of course. It shouldn’t be a substitute for decent wages. This isn’t a dig at people like you doing a decent job, but at your ludicrously low minimum wage. Tipping is just a nasty practice really establishing a horrible master-servant relationship and should be done away with like dowries have been. If people were paid a decent wage it wouldn’t be necessary at all. I’m happy to leave a tip for good service (I live in the UK where tips are not expected, but I do tip for good service) but I don’t like the feeling that it’s expected of me, particularly when service has just been par for the course.
Tipping is meant for GOOD service. If the service is good then it’s justified. But I live 1 mile from the pizza shop so petrol isn’t an issue, and I already pay twice as much to have my pizza come to me, why should I tip?
And here’s the big job issue - I worked in a service job, and it was a lot of lifting, building and carrying for customers. Did I get a tip? No, I damn well didn’t. That was a hell of a lot harder as a job than waiting for someone to cook something, have them put it in a box just so you can drive somewhere and hand it to someone. And you want a tip for that?!
Why do you think you deserve a tip because you’re dealing with food? Waiters get tips because it’s not just bringing you food, they take your order, bring it, make sure you have enough to drink and ensure that your meal is satisfactory.
You don’t like the meagre pay you get as a pizza delivery boy? Get a job where your tools of the trade is a moped.
dude, that was awesome
that “don’t be retarded” rule works everywhere - I work in a phone shop…a big “phones and equipment shop” signs in front, on the door and on the wall, and 100+ phones around me and a guy comes in and says “excuse me, do you sell phones here?”
Hey man,
Really great post. I worked pizza for almost ten years, delivered, managed, and all the inside crap. Years later, I still sympathize and I tip ok even when the service is crap, much better when its decent.
Thanks
Thanks for making me laugh till I cried…great stuff!